From menstruation to menopause, this workshop is aimed at introducing methods of managing both in a more chemical free way.
This September I'm running a workshop to introduce alternative and complimentary ways of managing hormones and felt a blog would be a good place to explain a bit more about the workshop content and about what has led me to running one in the first place...
The 'Managing Hormones Naturally' workshop
Often, when I've been to workshops myself, a fair portion of the talk time is about the host's personal journey to putting together the workshop. I don't want to do that on the day - which is why I've written this blog to do that part for me. Read on for more info about what to expect from the workshop and, if you're interested, my story below. I may still reference personal experiences but I want us to focus on what you've paid to hear about - managing hormones naturally.
My main aim is to introduce women to more natural alternatives for managing their hormonal symptoms:
homeopathic and Bach Flower Remedies
herbal supplements, minerals and vitamins
reference to useful therapies and techniques
Menstrual Cycle Awareness
Knowledge is power and having options is empowering especially when we feel like we've lost control of our bodies, moods and emotions. While many of us may experience similar symptoms, we are all individual in our responses so my aim is to share a range of alternatives so there's something for everyone. The fact that we do all respond individually may mean needing private consultations to follow on from this introduction so I will be offering vouchers as well on the day.
Primarily, I am a homeopath with training in the Bach Flower Remedies, herbal supplements and nutritional advice so what I want to share during the workshop is based on that knowledge combined with personal experience.
Originally, I think I was imagining a workshop leaning more toward menstrual cycle management as an alternative to the Pill. But what quickly became apparent is how many women have been responding with concerns about the menopause. So the workshop content will address both menstruation and menopause to ensure women from all stages of their hormonal life can benefit from the tips and advice equally. The hormonal remedies we will cover help both menstrual and menopausal symptoms and the Bach Flower Remedies cover a wide range of emotional states. There will also be examples of hormonally helpful herbal supplements and information about vitamins and minerals along with lifestyle tips and alternative therapy info I've gathered along the way.
At the very start of putting this all together, I met with a homeopath friend in a cafe to thrash out some ideas for a workshop. A lady approached us and apologised for over-hearing but wanted to tell us how marvelous she thought what we were doing was as she had felt so isolated and alone when going through her own menopause. Her doctor had initially dismissed the possibility of it even being early menopause but eventually suggested 'supplements' to her - without advising which ones! Her feedback felt like a positive sign that this was the right workshop topic. Menopause soon became a big part of the conversation and other ladies I met were opening up about their concerns too.
It got me thinking: when we start our periods, there is generally a wealth of experienced female wisdom to guide and reassure us; during pregnancy there are groups to support throughout the stages and beyond...but what is there for the menopause? And why isn't there more?
This is very much an introductory workshop intended to inform women of natural alternatives that I've been taught about, successfully tried and prescribed. I want us to explore what a healthy cycle and menopause is like and what tends to cause them to be unhealthy. What I'm hoping for is that women will leave the workshop with knowledge and options to try and, dare I say it, even a sense of empowerment and community. If ladies who attend want to join or even create their own 'red or silver tents' afterward then how fantastic would that be as an outcome from an introductory workshop?!
“Knowledge is power and finding options and communities is empowering”
I also want to introduce the concept of 'Menstrual Cycle Awareness' (MCA) which I was introduced to a few months ago and have found really effective in managing my own cycle better. This can be started at any stage so is not solely for those menstruating. One of the key messages about cycle awareness is recognising and acknowledging that women are cyclical in their nature rather than linear (which is how society often prefers us to function). Once we learn to work with that cycle it not only empowers us but can work to our advantage! (Something we don't usually associate with menstruation!)
Cyclical patterns do not fit so neatly into a linear world. Especially when you're working against your own nature to be linear. To work work work and handle the stress that comes with that. Only, sadly, the more stressed we are, the more we battle against being cyclical and the more it shows up as PMS! The thing we were resenting in the first place!? Oh, the irony!?!
But our menstrual cycle is one of the first and most reliable indicators of what's going on with our health. If you're stressed and over-stretched it will show up in your pre-menstrual stage. I've also noticed that the action of homeopathic remedies often shows up first in the cycle: in my own experience of taking them and in my patients'.
Menstruation is an in-built detox system and what it is asking of you is to make space for yourself. Every month, your body is asking you to slow down, withdraw a little and rest. Even if only 1% of your time is given to creating some space for yourself, the simple act of doing it can be enough (and often encourages us to want to take a little bit more time for ourselves when we can too). Whether that be a warm bath, a night out, some cuddles, a walk, meditating over a cuppa - any time that is labelled 'me time' is time recognised and benefited from.
If, like me, you don't want to be on the Pill or it doesn't agree with you or you are moving into the menopause - finding natural ways to soothe hormones becomes really key to living a more harmonious life.
The workshop will be about 2 hours with time for a tea break and questions after. I am asking women to bring any sanitary products they can spare so we can donate them to the Tricky Period charity to help women who are homeless and on low incomes.
My story:
I have been a teacher now for coming up to 15 years and the thing I've learned about myself is that I learn best by teaching. When I'm thinking about how best to explain to others what I know, it helps me know it better. So I felt the best way to sort out all of the homeopathic training now crowding my head would be to start teaching others about it. Where to begin? And what might people want to know that I know about?
Wonky hormones.
First-hand experience as well as training!
My first-hand experience of wonky hormones:
I would probably say I was a bit of a girly tom-boy when growing up: I LOVED playing football with the boys but I was also into make-up, dancing like Madonna and running home to watch Dynasty (not sure if that counts as 'girly' but it was the 80s and what I was into). I was girly but not really into what it meant to be a girl - and definitely not into what it meant to become a woman!?
Boys were linear and seemed even tempered. I was becoming ever more changeable. It's taken until my 40s to realise that what I wasn't accepting about being a girl was the cyclical nature of being female and partly because we live in a linear world with linear demands on us. I didn't want to be a boy but I thought being equal to a boy meant functioning more like them - being linear.
“I didn’t want to be a boy but I thought being equal to a boy meant functioning more like them - being linear. ”
My periods were heavy enough to render me zombie-like in my teens which was not helped by becoming vegetarian and having a nut allergy. I was often weak, pale and washed out. In my twenties I stopped being a vegetarian so going back to it a few years ago was done with some trepidation (but better managed this time thankfully).
The main issue I've noticed is that my hormonal imbalances show up mostly when I'm in a relationship.
It was when I was screaming profanities at an ex-boyfriend for daring to suggest it would be a good idea to put my biscuits in a biscuit barrel that I started realising something wasn't right. (With biscuit barrels it seems!? I'd still argue against them but perhaps with far less fervour!)
And that's my hormonal problem: rage. That and irritation, feelings of harassment combined with clumsiness, internal wobbliness and knowing far too many swear words to express them all!
The only thing I knew to do at the time was to go back on the Pill. The doctor offered me this new version which you take every day and end up having no periods at all. No periods at all?? But that would be like being a man??! Hang on - my inner tomboy cried - I would be able to function like a man! So, after 6 months of getting used to the Pill. I no longer had to worry about periods. Brilliant.
It was part way through the first year of my homeopathy course that I seriously began to question its brilliance. It may well be one of the top ten of all time scientific inventions but there was something very unnatural about having no periods at all. I'd never really wanted to be on it but I'd also not wanted to fall pregnant and I wanted to calm my PMS. Once on this wonder-Pill with no periods I was dreading how it would be to come off it. It was no good though: my homeopathic head was trumping my chemically controlled cycle. I was also quite fearful of the potential backlash having no periods would cause when it came to the menopause later - would it mean continual synthetic control of my hormones for the rest of my life??
I wasn't in a relationship so it made sense to try and do it then and with the support of complementary alternatives and the knowledge and experience of my homeopathic teachers.
The thing I was most terrified about was that I had become a high school teacher during my hormonally synthetic years and had never had a period while doing that job: with 30 button-pushers in a room at any given time this could be a career ending nightmare!?!
The transition off the Pill was so much smoother than I had expected and the button-pushers were far more bearable than I would ever have given them credit! I still got irritable and grumpy but my public persona was strong enough to compensate for that and suppress it. I lived alone so I had the space to make up for it there.
Then I started a new relationship.
Only this time I found myself running hot and cold with him. My feelings would just switch off and I didn't understand why - it was so confusing. It seemed to be around ovulation too - the time when I'm meant to be at my least fussy, in the primitive search to get knocked up!? Instead, I didn't want to be touched and the irritation and rage was harder to contain. I'm a reasonable woman but with a mighty temper to argue my case. Ironically, though, even when I'm right the rage makes me sound wrong which just adds to the frustration.
I started mapping my cycle to see what was going on - smiley/frowny faces sprung up all over my calendar but I was no less confused. I went back to my homeopath who helped a lot and I tested myself for the Bach Flower Remedies to find patterns emerging in my cycle but what really helped was when I started to listen to what my cycle was telling me:
I didn't really want to be with this person.
Being off the Pill meant increased chances of pregnancy which made me nervous and my body really didn't seem to want that either by sabotaging chances of it in the first place. I had also had doubts from the outset about the relationship but just figured it was me being a commitment-phobe at the time, so blocked out all the alarm bells while blaming myself for being too much of a 'lone wolf' as my friends teased me.
The time leading up to and around ovulation is usually when we feel in harmony with the world and our tolerance levels are at their highest and yet here I was in discord; while pre-menstruation drops the rose-tinted glasses and we come face to face with out shadow self - my usual experience of my cycle.
My shadow self seemed to involve a lot of anger. I'm quite a nice person generally and when it comes to my public persona, I was suppressing my irritation well enough but for those closer to me it was sadly a different story. Why? Why was I beastly to those I love the most?? This had bothered me for years!
What I've learned is that when I have no space for myself I can't cope with the hormones. They need space.
I'm in a new relationship now and one I really would like to stay in so I've been working hard at facing my shadow self and trying to understand it better. Gone were the doubts and commit fears of previous relationships which meant that all the anger and wobbles were completely due to the hormones. Hormones and ridiculous amounts of stress! My life was so full of activities and responsibilities that there was little space left for a relationship. Something had to give. And I didn't want it to be the relationship.
Which is what led me to learning about and doing properly the Menstrual Cycle Awareness and more importantly learning about myself. Wild Power talks about 'needing to be heard' and I realised I wasn't listening to myself because I didn't like what was there because I still wanted to be linear. So the message got louder by being more rage fueled. Why was a generally nice lady so filled with rage?? Together, with my partner, I've been exploring that and, bottom-line, my shadow self has been expressing anger which has been protecting old wounds. More importantly, my feelings of resentment about life's unfairness - two emotions I realise now I've been really uncomfortable with because I preferred being stoical to whinging. When I was younger I tried to be sooo philosophical about some of the crappy things that had happened. In theory, I was philosophical but inside was a lot of unprocessed stuff needing to be heard. I kid you not, it has taken nearly 43 years to realise this and a whole lot of gratitude to my partner for hearing me, for reflecting back gently what he saw lying beneath the anger and for loving me and what I had thought were my ugly parts. I'm also grateful to Kerry for introducing me to the book in the first place which leads me to being grateful to my PMS for showing me the way - I just hadn't understood what it was saying!
I heard something recently that said allowing yourself to be vulnerable can be key to healing. Since allowing myself to be more vulnerable my irritation levels have softened massively and I'm learning to forgive in a deeply felt way not just in a 'nice person being nice' way.
Any animal untamed seems wild and dangerous and something to be ashamed of but if you can harness that power, accept and even embrace that darker side of you it's a remarkable thing! Kerry used this analogy with me and I'd like to share it with you: view your wild power in the same way as sailing a boat in high winds - if you don't know how to sail or don't even want to be in a sail boat, you're going to struggle, feel afraid and miserable BUT if you learn how to sail that boat and harness the wind - you'll soar! Imagine what you can achieve! :)
If you're planning on coming to the workshop I look forward to meeting you there! :)
With love,
Deb xx
With gratitude and click links below to:
Sarah Endicott - for getting me started with the workshop
Kerry Dolan - for introducing me to MCA and Wild Power
and to both of you for helping me when I needed it professionally and personally xxx